By: Snarky Basterd
Feed Your ADHD

IOTW broke this stunning news early this morning: BarackRoll emphatically refutes the National Enquirer story claiming infidelity at the highest levels of the land.

Meanwhile, the Enquirer has stripped most of the meaty details from the original story and is now kinda, maybe, backing away from their initial claim that there is video evidence of an affair between Zero and Vera Baker with the alleged testimony of an anonymous chauffeur.

I told you the story couldn’t be true.

UPDATE: Seriously, though, Obama does not appear to like women.

It’s kind of understandable. Even his own “wife” can’t beat a drag queen in a beauty contest: