The Rhyme of the Ancient Oil Spill

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From: Barack Obama’s Oil Spill’s Blog

Hour after hour, hour after hour,
I gush, with unquenchable devotion;
As idle BO takes golfing tours
Without care or sensible notion.

Oil, oil, everywhere,
And all the Regime did shrink;
Oil, oil, everywhere,
As their futures began to sink.

— BO’s OilSpillBlog

I’m getting really scared. BO had the Coast Guard send my employer a nasty letter over the weekend, telling BP they had 48 hours to pick up the pace of collecting my sludge … OR ELSE! They didn’t say what else is, of course, but I suspect it means BO is going to kick some ass. That’s the BO Regime, always specific with the rhetoric.

I still don’t know why the letter didn’t begin with the words “let me be clear.” After all, even more so than BP, the BO Regime is probably the world’s most qualified group of experts … in making a bad situation worse.

Then BO got really tough … He compared me to September 11th, 2001. I felt so down after that one, I doubled production and worked on fracturing the Gulf sea bed beyond repair.

For the coup de grace, yesterday BO went golfing for 4 hours, continuing His incredibly unwavering display of steadfast leadership in this time of crisis for the communities around the Gulf.

When BO stops by to see me today, and has His great photo op for the week, I’ll have to ask Him if He understands that I’m a hell of an albatross around His neck.

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