Military Absentee Ballots Delivered One Day Late, Would Have Swung Election For Romney

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The Duffel Blog:

by drew on November 7, 2012 · 16 comments

WASHINGTON, DC – Sources confirmed today that hundreds of thousands of military absentee ballots were delivered hours after the deadline for them to be counted, with preliminary counts showing that they would have overturned the vote in several states and brought a victory for Governor Mitt Romney.

Officials say the ballots were delivered late due to problems within the military mail system. Tracking invoices show the ballots sat in a warehouse for a month, then they were accidentally labeled as ammunition and shipped to Afghanistan. At Camp Dwyer, Marine Sergeant John Davis signed for them and was surprised at the contents.

“I told Gunny we got a bunch of ballots instead of ammo,” Davis told investigators earlier today. “He told me to file a report of improper delivery and that the chain of command would take care of it. We didn’t hear anything for three weeks. While we were waiting we came under fire so we dumped a bunch of them in the Hescoes. We didn’t dig those ones back out.”

After military officials realized the initial error, the ballots were then sent back to the U.S. but suffered a series of setbacks.

Twelve boxes of ballots were dropped overboard during delivery to the USS Kearsarge (LHD-3) in the Persian Gulf, then while the ship sailed to Bahrain, postal clerks allegedly pocketed whatever ballots they wanted.

The remaining absentee ballots were loaded onto a C-130, but the flight was delayed until November 1st so the crew could get tax free pay for the month. Once the ballots arrived stateside they were promptly mailed to each state’s counting facility, reaching their final destination on November 7th.

“It’s a shame,” Rear Admiral John Dawes said when asked for comment. “I expected a delay so I ordered that everyone cast their votes eight months ago. It’s really unfortunate that our mail system failed us and directly affected the course of history.”

Upon hearing the news, angry Republicans have begun a demand for a recount, but most military absentee voters have shrugged off the news, with many wondering whether the care packages their families sent six months ago were ever going to show up.

Stand-up America, demand that their votes be counted!! And if their ballots are missing, they should be allowed to vote again! Then the new ballots should be delivered by military jet and the Presidential election should not be certified until that is done!



6 thoughts on “Military Absentee Ballots Delivered One Day Late, Would Have Swung Election For Romney

  1. This doesn’t pass the smell test. Obama knew that the miltary vote would cancel the votes of illegal Aliens, felons, and the dead and put Romney over the top….just yet another example of Democrat voter suppression.

  2. DuffleBlog is a military parody site like The Onion. Nobody is going to believe they’ve got a real story.

  3. James – that is true. I did see other stories about the military ballots not being delivered on time. The majority as a matter of fact. But DuffleBlog is a parody site.

  4. Our troops put their lives on the line every day for us and our country. They, more than any one else should have the right to vote. What happened to these ballots is unbelievable. I don’t for one second believe the army is stupid. All those mistakes?? Each time they were moved more were lost? No Way…

  5. This is not the first I have heard of this. As Commander in Chief,
    one of his main duties should be to honor the votes of our military who are serving to protect the right for us all to vote.

    THEIR VOTE BETTER BE COUNTED! IF NOT, WE WILL ALL BAND TOGETHER TO FILE THE LARGEST LAW SUIT THIS COUNTRY EVER HAD FILED AGAINST IT. THIS SHOULD GO TO THE SUPREME COURT.
    AFTER ALL, IT IS THE FAULT OF THE PRESIDENT/GOVERNMENT IF THE VOTES DID NOT ARRIVE IN TIME…..I AM GOING TO CHECK INTO THIS MUCH FURTHER….IF IT IS TRUE WE BETTER ALL BE OUT ON THE STREETS CAUSING AN UPROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. ‘Rear Admiral John Dawes said when asked for comment. “I expected a delay so I ordered that everyone cast their votes eight months ago.”

    Uh, if that’s true, Romney wasn’t even on the ballot since he wasn’t yet the publican nominee and didn’t accept the nomination till August.

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