The Celebrated Life of the Gipper

By: Jay Loeffers

Hello my friends… did you have a great day? Well, I will make it better for you. We are going to look at President Ronald Reagan. As you know, when you click on the NoisyRoom intro page, it has a fine Reagan quote. So, I know my editor knows Reagan really well. Unlike all the snot nosed radical punks and media haters of Reagan, I remember Reagan when I was a child. But I was too young at that time to know about politics. I just knew something about this president invoked strong opinions on both sides of the aisle. My parents hated the guy, but I didn’t understand why at the time. Now that I am older and wiser and a student of history and political science, we are going to clear up all the negative, hateful myths about Ronald Reagan, right here and now.

REAGAN WAS A WAR MONGER

Really guys… a war monger? Let’s look at that and look at Reagan’s war record. First off, the Soviet Union – how did Reagan defeat the Russian bear? With an invasion; with bombs? And a few well placed nukes? Come on guys… you know this one. Times up! Ding, ding, ding… he defeated the Soviet Union in three ways.

1. WITH A RADICAL IDEA: SDI (STAR WARS) – a multi-missile defense system at just the idea stage made the Russians nervous in the service. Plus, the faked test got them running and they realized they could not afford to do the same thing to counteract the system.

2. CIA – PASSIVE SABOTAGE: New records reveal that Reagan understood the new computer systems being cranked out by Steve Jobs’ little company APPLE and the impact they would have worldwide. So, he had devised a plan to have military-type computer systems that were rigged to crap out at a certain time and they were to be sold to the Russians. This plan set the Soviets back a few years.

3. AMERICAN MILITARY MIGHT/SOVIET ECONOMIC DOWNGRADE: With the Russians being held down in a war quagmire in Afghanistan (with Charlie Wilson’s help) fighting locals there, the Soviets knew Reagan had a real foreign policy in place. Reagan’s great buildup of the military had a two fold reason behind it. ONE – to be the bigger badass on the block. This impressed the Soviets and scared them. TWO – at the same time they again knew they could not out defense spend us at this time and this was a smart way of defeating them without firing a shot.

During the Jimmy Carter years, we had the IRANIAN HOSTAGE CRISIS and this dragged on and on and on. President Carter suffered from both a lack of a spine and zero foreign policy to speak of. There was also a failed and deadly rescue operation that cost the lives of some the DELTA FORCE soldiers involved. Now, in 1979 a new secret SEAL team was being trained and developed and their first mission was the hostages in Iran. But after nearly a year of hard training and the 1980 election that Reagan won in a landslide, the Iranian leader just knew Reagan had a steel spine and was ready to use it. So, just a few days after the election, the hostages were released and the new SEAL team moved on to something else.

Let’s not forget how Reagan got the nuke arsenal reduction treaty made real and the Russians signed off on it. The KGB was so scared of Reagan that they had agents inject themselves into the anti-nuke peace movement to defeat Reagan or have him removed and that plan failed as well.

REAGAN WAS AN ECONOMIC IDIOT

So, I ask you, what proof do you have that Reagan was stupid? Reaganomics? You claim trickle-down-economics was made up by Reagan and was something he invented. Can I tell you something? These were never Reagan’s inventions, nor did he claim that they were. These were R.E.A.P. – REAGAN ECONOMIC AWARENESS PROGRAMS. Reagan was a student of the founding fathers, Adam Smith and American history. So every economic idea he expressed was not his. They were mostly Adam Smith’s and trickle-down simply works because it works simply, duh! Let me ask you a simple question to show how trickle-down always works in a capitalist system. Do you have a job? Do you buy anything? If you say ‘yes’ to both of those… congrats! You’re a capitalist and you practice trickle-down-economics every day. The effect of the Reagan tax cut continued through the Clinton years as well. Oh, darn you silly history deniers!

REAGAN COULD NOT FORM AN IDEA

Reagan, unlike Obama, wrote his own speeches without the help of a writer or a teleprompter and he would write and rewrite them until the very last minute. I have a binder of all of Reagan’s speeches and I have read many of them. Let me tell you something… this man knew, just really knew the true role of limited government and the role of the constitution. He also knew the historical part the founding fathers and the War of Independence played in forming America and he knew he didn’t need to change it, transform it, over-regulate it or hope for a bailout. He knew to stay out of the way of the people and let them transform themselves into something greater. Reagan also knew the dangers America faced with both a worldwide communist problem and socialism creeping around and had the foresight to write and warn about it. Reagan was the most genuine of speakers and one of the funniest (the bombing of Libya will start in five minutes! Now that’s funny to be sure). Now, he was not perfect… he had his Presidential mistakes like everyone else before and after him, but he knew what they were and was humbled by them and learned from them. Reagan had a favorite president. Can you guess who it was?
Calvin Coolidge – who also had to restart America’s economic growth during the 1920s.



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